Sexy Smile?

I couldn’t stop laughing as my friend told me the details of her latest date. Not just because the events were funny … and frustratingly so … but we had heard “this story” a zillion times before from a million different women.

She had met this guy through work. His company was next to hers. They often smiled in passing. Occasionally they stopped for a brief chat. He seemed sweet at first, but then their conversations got longer as he poured his heart out to her. Recently dumped, he revealed he had been hurt by many women and showed all the signs of a man needing love. Having been a while since she had wrapped her legs around a member of the opposite sex and being the natural nurturer she is, she listened and offered advice.

Bashfully, he asked her out. She almost said no, when he eagerly told her that he believed that because she always smiled at him and often talked to him, that she liked him more than the other guys at his company. What a bizarre thought. Almost immature. She told him that it might not be the best idea to go out, as they worked so close to each other. “He wasn’t pushy in a macho way. He seemed like a desperate puppy, so I said ok, as long as he didn’t pounce on me or expect anything,” she said and I laughed.

“It was like being on a date with a child,” she said. “I haven’t met a man so unaware for decades. I had to

get out of there. I didn’t even want a goodnight kiss!”

When he tried to kiss her, she expressed that she was not interested. He couldn’t understand. So, she boldly told him that she didn’t feel a connection and he wasn’t her type. He still didn’t understand. It was like they were having a different conversation. He asked questions but didn’t listen to her answers. He didn’t raise his voice at her, though he was definitely being argumentative. He thought she had a sexy smile and just couldn’t understand why she smiled at him every day.

During the week, he kept pushing for more than she was willing to give. She communicated clearly the reasons she was not interested. There were many. Then he asked to just be friends. She felt sorry for him and each time she agreed to have coffee with him as a friend, he would display another reason not to meet up. He was her age, yet he seemed twenty years younger. He didn’t need a friend, he needed to go back to his counsellor.

His desperate nature would be a turn off to most women. I loved her bold reply to an SMS where he said that she kept changing her mind! She admitted that ‘yes’ she had changed her mind but that it was because her thoughts and emotions were bouncing between “Pity” and “Run!”

The endless relay of messages was becoming so frustrating. Aware of the tension it started to cause in her body, she had to cease all contact. Boldly she told him to stop messaging her. Then she blocked him. Thank heavens for iPhones.

What’s wrong with this story? We discussed how there are people who actually believe that women smiling at men gives the wrong impression. How can someone logically believe that a smile equals sex? When I do business banking, all the tellers smile at me. Do they all want to have sex with me? I thought exchanging money for sex only happened in prostitution and at some special massage parlours. Haven’t we left that world where people assumed that a man paying for dinner meant that you owed him sex? Has half of the planet evolved and the other half devolved that some men think that if you smile at them that you owe them love or sex?

We had a good laugh and swapped similar stories. Whether female or male, I’m sure most of us have lived through this story at least once. I know I’ve had my fair share and I’m going to let it discourage me from smiling.

This world needs more smiles.

So keep smiling everyone and don’t let those who are backward keep you from moving forward.